


i came alone, title of my sex tape

by jadedlilian



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: (jake dabbled in solo porn as a broke 20 something year old - no biggie), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dirty Talk, F/M, Filthy with a capital F, Getting Together, I'm sorry but I'm not sorry, Liberal use of the word fuck, Masturbation, Porn Star AU, Post-Bet Pre-Tedford (aka that sweet spot in season 1), Smut, can you believe this is what got me past my writer's block, guided masturbation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 01:11:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadedlilian/pseuds/jadedlilian
Summary: Tonight, she’s in the mood for some solo male loving. Nothing too wild, just a man pleasuring himself the best way he knows how, moaning most of the way through.It’s far from her first time indulging in this type of porn, so she has to skip through several pages of results before finding something she hasn’t seen before: “Jake Hammer Strikes Again,” the video title reads.She hovers her cursor over the link for a split second, giving the thumbnail preview only a passing glance before clicking forward. (So sue her, she’s horny and impatient and certain that any image of a decently attractive man jerking off will do the job.)





	i came alone, title of my sex tape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [4drinkamy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/4drinkamy/gifts).



> Credit where credit is due: I could be remembering wrong, but I'm pretty sure the earliest version of this idea was born in a chat between me and [Foxcanoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxcanoes/pseuds/Foxcanoes) over a year ago. I thought it was too ridiculous a premise to turn into a fic at that time, but recently figured that [peraltiagoisland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peraltiagoisland/pseuds/peraltiagoisland)'s [dicks r' us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704619) may have paved the way for an AU like this to land well. All the shout outs to my sinful hoes and to [sharkinterviewee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkinterviewee/pseuds/sharkinterviewee) for enabling this.
> 
> I apologize for the filth.

Amy Santiago isn’t afraid to admit that she watches porn. 

(Or, well, she’d probably think twice about revealing this particular guilty pleasure of hers to her parents, brothers, extended family members, mentors, colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances, potential love interests, friends, and a great deal of other people… But, _in theory,_ she isn’t afraid to admit that she watches porn.)

Exactly what she watches tends to vary. She has a few favorite videos, of course – including the one with the bookish librarian getting fucked between shelves in the periodicals section, and the one with the perfectly-sculpted actor whose mustache rivals Tom Selleck’s and whose hip thrusting makes her toes curl. She’ll watch those every so often, usually to finish herself off after getting her fill of whatever tickles her fancy for the day.

Tonight, she’s in the mood for some solo male loving. Nothing too wild, just a man pleasuring himself the best way he knows how, moaning most of the way through.

It’s far from her first time indulging in this type of porn, so she has to skip through several pages of results before finding something she hasn’t seen before: “ **Jake Hammer Strikes Again** ,” the video title reads.

She hovers her cursor over the link for a split second, giving the thumbnail preview only a passing glance before clicking forward. (So sue her, she’s horny and impatient and certain that any image of a decently attractive man jerking off will do the job.)

While the video begins to load, she makes quick work of discarding her underwear and pajama pants, then settles in against her pillows. Her mind automatically starts to flit through select fantasies, a Pavlovian reaction to being half-naked in bed. Whenever she watches porn, she always likes to imagine that she’s seated across from the anonymous Adonis on her screen, touching herself and spurring him on as much as he is her, or that she’s tied up and being ordered to watch him, denied release until he’s had his.

Her breath hitches at that last thought, and she feels a familiar wetness start to gather between her legs. She runs her fingers through her slick folds before tracing slow circles around her clit, nursing the ember inside her. Her eyes slip closed as she gets lost to the sensation of it all. Nothing else exists apart from the smooth pads of her fingers and this glowing warmth, this sensual feeling.

A low, gruff moan is what pulls her back to reality.

The video’s about a couple minutes in, it turns out, but Amy’s less concerned about what she missed and more shook to her core about what she absolutely _cannot_ miss: the man in front of her, the person whose cock is hard and glistening in his hand, is Jake Peralta. (A much younger Jake Peralta, judging by the length and floppiness of his hair, but Jake Peralta nonetheless.)

_Fuck._

It’s like getting dropped into a pool of ice water.

 

* * *

 

She knows, logically, that she should look away. She should close out of the window, shut down her computer, take a cold shower, go to bed, and just forget everything she happened to discover. 

The thing is that she’s fascinated, transfixed, a moth drawn to a flame.

He’s a work of art, almost. Not exactly chiseled or jacked like others she’s seen, but still so handsomely masculine. The planes and angles of his body are soft yet defined, his chest dusted with dark curls. He’s moving with such purpose and certainty, dragging his fist up and down his shaft as if it’s choreography that’s been drilled into his head. He isn’t just going through the motions though, or it doesn’t seem like he is from Amy’s end. His head is tipped back in what must be ecstasy, his mouth is parted just enough for shallow breaths to escape. 

“ _Oh, god, I’m so close,_ ” he rasps out, speeding his strokes as he uses his free hand to fondle his balls.

The change sends a jolt of electricity straight through Amy’s body, and it’s only then that she realizes she’d been completely sidetracked from her main goal for the night. Her fingers brush awkwardly against her skin and the linen sheets around her, itching to do something but unable to move. (She still has half the mind to know that getting off to a close friend and coworker is all levels of messed up.)

It occurs to her that if she switches over to another video, featuring a different male performer, she can get her still-much-needed orgasm without the added weirdness…

She keeps watching.

Her eyes remain locked on the screen, her focus trained on his every tug and gasp and shift. Her hands stay fixed where they are, too far from where her flesh is screaming for them to be. It’s easy enough for her to ignore her own needs while she’s so spellbound by Jake satisfying his.

Amy sits through the entirety of the video, up until the very end – after he comes apart with a loud groan, spurting thick white ribbons on his stomach. Before the scene cuts to black, there’s a moment where Jake looks directly into the camera, his gaze so intense that a shudder runs down her spine.

She hits play on the next video with his name on it.

 

* * *

 

It’s so, _so_ twisted, but she’s so fucking turned on. 

Amy had managed to sit through another whole video of Jake jerking off. That one seemed to have a higher production value, with better quality images and varying camera angles. The close-ups were particularly gratuitous, offering her a view of everything from the sheen of sweat covering his body, to the veins lining the backs of his hands, to the precome leaking out of his tip.

It was a special kind of torture: watching him but restraining herself. 

She’d essentially been dropped in the middle of one of her go-to fantasies, except she wasn’t being dommed by some unnamed stranger. _No_ . She was all too familiar with Jake and could just as easily fill in the details of the scene. The sly upturn of his lips. The amused glint in his eyes. The low timbre of his voice. _Hell,_ she even knew the musk of his scent mixed with his aftershave. – She _knew_ him, and it was so wrong that she’d allowed her natural curiosity to be tainted by such carnal desire.

She couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ touch herself to the idea of him. No matter how wet she gets, or how badly it hurts digging her fingernails into her thighs.

 

* * *

 

A third video of his loads on autoplay, and Amy knows she’s a goner as soon as she reads the title. 

“ **Guided Masturbation with Jake Hammer** ,” it says. Nothing tacky or falsely clever, the way porn videos are often named. Just a straightforward statement of what’s to be expected, which apparently in this case is him telling her exactly how to play with herself.

“ _Hey babe,_ ” Jake starts, flashing a wolfish grin to the camera before tugging his shirt off in one fluid motion. He leans back on the couch, still in his boxers. He’s at least half-hard already. _“I want us to try something different today.”_

He could be talking to any other girl (and has probably brought a thousand others to orgasm with this video alone), but right now it feels like he’s only doing this for her.

 _“I want us to get off together,”_ he says, palming himself through the fabric, rolling his hips forward for extra contact. He stops and gives another arrogant smirk. _“Try not to come too soon, ‘kay, babe? You’ll finish when I tell you to.”_  

Amy swallows dryly, feeling her pulse begin to quicken. She’s never been one to back down from a challenge, especially not one set by _him_. She commits to it then, decides she really is going to touch herself this time, if only to prove that she’s capable of lasting longer than he does. (Nevermind the fact that she can’t possibly let him know whether she’s actually beaten him at his own game.)

Jake hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and pulls them down, making somewhat of a show of it and waggling his eyebrows. _“Come on, babe. Show me that sexy pussy of yours. Bet your panty’s all wet for me by now anyway. Just take that scrap of cloth off so I can see you.”_ He pauses, letting his breath hitch as his gaze flickers up and down. _“Fuck, you look so damn hot right now. I could tear your bra off with my teeth.”_ He licks his lips, deliberate and sinful. _“But leave it on, babe. I don’t want you to get too excited.”_

Amy huffs, annoyed but undeniably riled up by his cocky dirty talk. She isn’t wearing a bra, so his script doesn’t perfectly match up with real life. But she _is_ still in a sleep shirt, so she keeps it on. Just because.

 _“Let’s start off slow,”_ he says, reaching for a bottle of lube and squeezing some into his palm. _“I’m going to touch myself, and I want you to trace your hands around your body at the exact same pace. You can touch yourself everywhere except your needy little pussy.”_  

He barks out a laugh as he spreads the lube on his entire length, stroking languidly. _“What do you mean it isn’t fair for me to start ahead of you? Babe, if you only knew how fucking sexy you are, you’d know this is just as hard for me as it is for you. So… go on, touch your sides and your legs and that one spot we both know drives you crazy. You know, the one I like to suck hickies into just to brand you as mine.”_

The rational part of her knows that his dialogue is vague enough to work for anyone, but _fuck–_ is it working for her. She lets her fingers rove her skin, lets them linger along her inner thighs, where she imagines he’d kiss and nip like he said he would.

He squeezes the base of his cock firmly then drags his fist down, letting out a throaty moan. _“See how good you make me feel, babe? How fucking hard I am for you? Oh, god, I’m just thinking about how your mouth would feel around me right now. So hot and wet. Fuck, I could come just at the thought of that.”_ He lets his head tilt back on the couch as another groan escapes his lips.

Wanton need courses through her. “God damn it, Peralta,” she mutters breathlessly. “Just let me–”

As if on cue, he snaps his gaze back to the camera and chuckles again. _“Did you think I forgot about you? Of course I haven’t… Mmm, go ahead, babe. Touch yourself. Rub your clit just like that, yeah, but try to match me._ ”

He’s stroking himself way too slowly for Amy’s liking, but she’ll take it. It’s something. (That something is _infuriating._ She’s so close to giving up, to reaching for her vibrator and switching it on to the highest level, or shoving a pillow between her legs and grinding down on it until her muscles burn. But she won’t.) 

 _“You like that, don’t you?”_ Jake asks, his voice somehow huskier than before. _“Your poor clit must just be throbbing, aching for more. Bet your pussy’s dripping wet for me, just so ready to be filled. God, I want to fuck you so bad, babe. Want to feel you tight and hot around me. Want to hear those naughty whines you make as I thrust into you, deep and hard and–”_

He interrupts himself with another strangled moan then speeds the movement of his fist. The obscene, slick sounds of him jerking off spur Amy on. She quickens her own ministrations, rubbing her clit back and forth, feeling the wave of pleasure in her build and build and build.

 _“You’ve been so good for me, babe. So fucking hot. Oh, fuck–”_ He stops suddenly, gripping himself tightly as his cock twitches in his hand. Amy waits with bated breath, half-expecting him to lose it altogether.

He doesn’t. But he’s so obviously close, flushed all over with his chest heaving. (She is, too. Ridiculously close.)

 _“Fuck– Bet you’re as close as I am right now, huh, babe? But you can’t come yet.”_ He smirks, shaking his head slightly, turning her on all the more. _“No, I want you to fuck yourself first. Fuck yourself for me, babe. Use two fingers, or three. I know you can take it. I know you’re desperate for my cock right now. You just want to be fucked, don’t you, babe?”_

Amy dips a finger into her heat, and then another. She’s so wet that they slide in easily, and it doesn’t take her long to find the rhythm and depth she likes. Mewls and moans spill out of her as her digits hit just the right spot inside, sending jolts of sweet pain and pleasure through her entire system. Her other hand continues working at her clit, rubbing faster and bringing her nearer to the edge.

Jake readjusts his position, now better able to thrust into his hand. It’s such a filthy image, one that’ll probably be burned into her memory for months. She times her motions with his, imagining it’s the velvet steel of his cock plunging into her, dragging out with just the right amount of delicious friction. 

_“That’s it, babe. That’s it. Keep going, babe. You look so fucking sexy right now. You’re so fucking gorgeous. Fuck–”_

Jake’s hips start moving more erratically, and Amy’s hands also begin to lose their rhythm. Her fingers are clumsy now, just slipping across her clit and pushing in and out on pure instinct.

 _“I’m so fucking horny for you, babe. I’m so fucking–”_ He groans loudly, thrusting and panting and dripping sweat. _“I wish– I wish I could come in your tight, wet pussy right now, babe. God, I’m so close. I’m so fucking close. But I want you to come for me first, babe. I want to hear you scream out my name while you come. Fuck– I want to hear you– I want to– Oh fuck, I can’t– I’m going to come. I’m– God, come for me, babe. Come for me–”_

He waits all of three seconds before delivering his final heavy thrusts, his milky seed shooting out of him in hot spurts. Amy unravels shortly after, her vision blurring as shockwaves of pleasure rips through her core, her moans mixing with his heavy breathing. It’s been a while since she’s come so spectacularly, so deep, the tremors still pulsing through her body even as her racing heartbeat begins to slow. If Jake has any bit of dialogue after his pop shot, she doesn’t hear it. 

When she finally comes to, Jake is smiling lazily on her screen, looking absolutely spent and satiated. For a moment, she feels just as satisfied. Just as at peace. 

And then the guilt sets in.

**Author's Note:**

> Next up: Jake wonders why Amy's been avoiding him like the plague. He drops by her apartment with a peace offering, figuring that it's probably safe to say he messed up and has to make up for whatever he did.
> 
> PS: Anyone else turned on by the idea of Jake dirty talking/ramblefapping? Whew.


End file.
